If You Give a Girl a Groupon*

Groupon by WOVOX Team

If you give a girl a Groupon to buy plants at a nursery, she’s going to want to plant them.

She’ll start to till the soil and realize she needs to weed the flower bed.

She’ll weed the flower bed and realize her plants need plant food.

She’ll go to get the plant food and see that the recycling hasn’t been done.

She’ll get her sons to sort out all the cans and glass in separate trash cans and put them in the car to take to the recycling center.

When they come back from the recycling center, she’ll realize the car smells like old beer bottles. So, she’ll bribe ask her daughter to wash the car.

When the trash cans are emptied, she’ll smell that they are filled with stinky liquid and debris. So, she’ll get her son to wash them off.

When the trash cans are moved from their spots, she’ll see that the side yard needs to be swept and washed.

So, she’ll use the broom to clean it, and when it’s almost done, she’ll step back to admire her work. That’s when she’ll realize the rain gutters too, are full of debris.

So, she’ll ask her husband for some help and he’ll bring a ladder there. When he begins to clear the clutter, he’ll realize the tree needs to be trimmed.

Her husband will trim the trees and clear the gutters,  and uncover an ant colony. So, he’ll have the spray with ant spray. After her husband fumigates the gutters, she’ll have to hose off the windows and walls.

When the hose is unwound, she’ll take it to the flower beds.  That’s when she will discover she didn’t finish planting her new plants. Which she bought with a Groupon. Which started this crazy chain of events in the first place.

THE END

* Inspired by the children’s book, If You Give a Mouse a Cookie. by Laura Numeroff

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17 responses to “If You Give a Girl a Groupon*

  1. This is excellent – so clever and true too!

  2. Boy, what a slacker I am! As I recall, I was there planting, sweeping, washing the dog and making Blendermami a delicious breakfast served in the backyard.

    Oh yeah, under protest, I took 6 trash cans of recycling with our son, in 90 degree weather, sorted it and got a whopping $26.01 for it. (He got to keep the money…)

    The love of my life only remembers rain gutters. Oh well, I am just happy to be a small bit player in a Lifewellblended…

    But I am not complaining….

    • Okay, so I took a little literary license. If you want to write your own version, then get your own blog! Oh wait, if you did that, you’d have no time to be my editor, tech support guy and muse. Thanks for all your hard work and “inspiration.” xoxo

  3. Love this, all of it. Including Juan’s comments. Poetic license: we has it. I’m so bummed that my little guy has outgrown those books. Hope you got those plants in the dirt!

  4. Juan, you slacker! (Umm, could you give Mike some pointers on cleaning up the yard?)

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  9. That is life…totally life. A well-blended life!

    Thanks for the good laugh!

    I hope you got your plants planted!

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  12. That was so clever. I enjoyed reading that. Thanks!!

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