Tag Archives: Blended Family

Date Night Without My Husband

Yesterday, I told you that my husband Juan took our son Diego to a sleepover at a local museum.  The girls, my step-daughters, were with their mother for the night. This is one of the challenges of having a blended family–keeping a master calendar on who’s where and which parent are they with. We have been at it for nearly 8 years now so we have our routine worked out, but it can become quite hectic when the other parents travel and we get off schedule, which happened this weekend. And which is why I happened to find myself alone with my 12 year-old son Nico on a Friday night.

One of the things I struggled with in my decision to remarry, was how it was going to affect my son. Nico was barely 2 years old when his dad and I divorced. For the next three years it was just Nico and I. And while the divorce was painful, and I struggled to make it as a single working mom and, Nico was the brightest spot in my life.  We did everything together. I got to a point where I felt really comfortable in my role as a single mom. Nico was my best date.

And then I met Juan. We dated, fell in love and decided to get married. Nico got two sisters in the deal and later his brother.  With each change to our family we talked about it. He is such a low-key kid, I have always been concerned that as our family grew and life became more hectic, Nico would fall off the radar.  When Nico was 6 years-old Diego was born. He was concerned that Diego would not be his brother. Erica had explained to him that because he and Diego did not have the same father, they would only be half-brothers. I assured him that yes, would be brothers. Today, they are not only brothers, but wonderful friends. Nico and his sisters also have a special bond, especially with Erica, since they are in the same grade, at the same school. So in this Brady Bunch type household, it’s rare that I can carve out an opportunity to recreate one-on-one time for Nico and I.

Nico noticed it too. A few days before he learned that we would be alone on Friday night. He told me, “Wow Mommy! (I love that he still calls me that.) We haven’t been alone since Juan took the girls to the Father/Daughter Dance, before Diego was born. What are we going to do?”  This night called for something special. We talked about what we wanted to do and of course, ice cream was at the top of his list. And a movie. We had a wonderful time.  He is a pre-teen, so I don’t know how much longer he’ll want to  go out with his mom for a movie and ice cream.  But for now, I’m happy to be his best date.

Nico and I on wedding day.

Much Ado about (Almost) Nothing

After reading yesterday’s post on this blog, Juan made the comment that I am the Jerry Seinfeld of blogging. I asked him to explain, and he said that Seinfeld was an amusing show about nothing. He thought my post about Silly String was like that.

Well, I guess Juan is somewhat correct.  But, it is my blog so I can write whatever comes to mind, even if it’s something as silly as Silly String. I read quite a few blogs and many of them are about nothing profound, just the stuff that makes up life. One of the blogs which I enjoy reading is Pioneer Woman, by Ree Drummund.  Ree is an amazing blogger. If you haven’t heard of her then you should check her blog out. It will make you feel like you are an under-achiever.  Some days her posts are quite touching,  like when she writes about her developmentally disabled brother Mike. Other days her posts are just about as innocuous as Silly String. I am new to this blogging thing, but writing about the stuff that makes up my well blended life, is kind of the point of my blog. 

Last night, Juan and I tricked Diego and told him we were going to visit grandma, but instead we treated him to the Mickey’s Halloween party at Disneyland. Diego is all ours.  By that I mean  because we have a “blended family” Juan and I share Olivia and Erica with their mom, and we share Nico with his dad. Many times the other kids get to do things with the other parents that Diego doesn’t get to do. Juan and I occasionally try to do something special with Diego on our own. It’s difficult because when it’s just the three of us, the house is quieter and it’s tempting to just stay home and chill. But last night we made the effort, and I’m glad we did. There were no crowds or lines. Disneyland was decorated for Halloween, entire families were dressed in costume…Peter Pan and company, Incredible families, grown men dressed as Star Wars heroes accompanied by a Princess Leah wife and Yoda babies. We had a great time. In case you think Juan is not supportive of me and my blog, Juan took pictures for my blog all night. I told him I wasn’t sure what I’d write about and then he said, “Are you kidding? This night is full of good material. You could write about Silly String, but not this?”  I told him to get his own blog! Still, he was right. It was a night of good material. I am just not sure I want to write about it. So, instead I’ll post his pictures and close this post with photos from an evening that was special, even though it may not have been profound.

By the way, if you would like me to write about something in particular on this blog, leave a comment and let me know.