Tag Archives: Home and Garden

If You Give a Girl a Groupon*

Groupon by WOVOX Team

If you give a girl a Groupon to buy plants at a nursery, she’s going to want to plant them.

She’ll start to till the soil and realize she needs to weed the flower bed.

She’ll weed the flower bed and realize her plants need plant food.

She’ll go to get the plant food and see that the recycling hasn’t been done.

She’ll get her sons to sort out all the cans and glass in separate trash cans and put them in the car to take to the recycling center.

When they come back from the recycling center, she’ll realize the car smells like old beer bottles. So, she’ll bribe ask her daughter to wash the car.

When the trash cans are emptied, she’ll smell that they are filled with stinky liquid and debris. So, she’ll get her son to wash them off.

When the trash cans are moved from their spots, she’ll see that the side yard needs to be swept and washed.

So, she’ll use the broom to clean it, and when it’s almost done, she’ll step back to admire her work. That’s when she’ll realize the rain gutters too, are full of debris.

So, she’ll ask her husband for some help and he’ll bring a ladder there. When he begins to clear the clutter, he’ll realize the tree needs to be trimmed.

Her husband will trim the trees and clear the gutters,  and uncover an ant colony. So, he’ll have the spray with ant spray. After her husband fumigates the gutters, she’ll have to hose off the windows and walls.

When the hose is unwound, she’ll take it to the flower beds.  That’s when she will discover she didn’t finish planting her new plants. Which she bought with a Groupon. Which started this crazy chain of events in the first place.

THE END

* Inspired by the children’s book, If You Give a Mouse a Cookie. by Laura Numeroff

Doing the Laundry on a Sunday Evening

Most Sunday evenings I feel like it’s a race to the finish line, and before I can settle in for the evening I am usually faced with a mountain of laundry to summit. It seems like the laundry never ends around my house. This time of year the chores feel endless because in addition to my regular household tasks, the holidays add more to my “To Do” list.  The Thanksgiving holiday also reminds me  of the first poem I ever had to memorize, the classic “Stopping By Woods on A Snowy Evening” by Robert Frost. So, as I was doing yet another load of laundry on Sunday evening I was inspired to pen my own version of this classic.

Whose clothes these are I think I know,

They will not do their laundry though.

They let their clothes pile up so high,

I sort, pre-treat, wash, dry and fold.

*******

My family, they must think it’s great,

To have clean clothes without a wait.

Though lots of colors, darks, and whites,

Their laundry’s done and almost never late.

*******

They throw their dirties on the floor,

Not in the hamper or on a rack,

Soiled towels and clothes, hung on the door,

So many loads, one, or two, no less than four.

*******

The clothes are soiled and must be cleaned,

So I have work to do,

And piles of laundry before I sleep.

And piles of laundry before I sleep.